Was expecting a dull lesson with 1 Buck today. Well, we were just doing exercises on Graphics and Texts, Rational Cloze, Meaning in Context and Reading Comprehension. But I guess it wouldn’t be as bad as 1 Best. Because, for 1 Best, I actually split up the entire four sections into two, dragging it on for two double-period lessons instead of one. So they were going at a muchhhhhh slower pace than 1 Buck. But I thought they needed the extra time to work on it.

Even then, some were still struggling with the first two sections, and we still didn’t get to complete the two in that two double periods T.T

But with 1 Buck, we were certainly moving at a faster pace, and we had to! I didn’t have much time left with them. They only had a single period lesson next Tuesday before they sit for their mid-year exams. How scary! @.@

They were quite alright, I think. Lesson went well in terms of time allocation. I managed to do at least one practice for each section, showed them how to answer these kinds of questions, modelled the thought process for them, worked on a lot of vocabulary! >.< Hopefully, they will be able to do the same thing I taught them for the rest of the practices on their own. They’re gonna have to anyway, for the exams :/

I had already told them to pay attention because I was helping them answer exam-type questions. I told them that if they didn’t want to listen, then there’s nothing I can do for them.

Most of the girls were alright, paying attention, nodding when I talked, which let me know they’re doing okay. Some of the boys too. The better ones were doing questions ahead of me, which is fine. But SOME of the boys were just playing around. Talking a lot. I reprimanded them once, twice, three times. But I went on with the lesson for the sake of the rest of them.

But at one point, Ezzul, good boy, was asking me a question, asking me to explain what “batter” meant. (He had thought it was a typo for ‘butter’ @.@) I was trying to explain to him, but it was difficult, because I did not know the BM equivalent to him. As I was explaining it to him, I suddenly realized that I could not even HEAR myself over the noise the other boys were making, and that I was practically shouting.

I tell you, I just got sooooo annoyed. >.<

I shouted, “OH MY GOODNESS, WHY IS IT SO NOISY?! I’M PRACTICALLY SHOUTING OVER YOU!!!” Then I paused and said, “I am SO annoyed right now.” Then everyone was silent. And I felt a headache coming on. Sigh. T.T

Seriously, 1 Buck is just getting worse and worse. To be fair, not the entire class. Just the few boys who take turns to be the culprits. I mean, it’s one thing to not pay attention in class. At this point, I realize there’s really only so much a teacher can do. If you’re not willing to listen, then fine, it’s your choice. But if you’re gonna disrupt the class, and make me have to SHOUT just to be heard, boy, I’m gonna be mad. >.<

After that outburst, I gave the answer for the final objective question, then told them to try the rest at home. End of lesson.

Sigh, I hate always getting mad and having outbursts like these, but sometimes I just can’t take it. Sometimes, I just can’t tolerate it anymore. I feel not respected in the class. And I feel that I’m trying so hard and they just don’t care, what more appreciate it. >.<

I feel like giving up. 😦

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