Tag Archive: Week 14

Day #70 – 22 June 2012

I was expecting a boring class with 1 Best today. And frankly, I have to admit that I am quite biased against 1 Best already. After four days of shouting at them and getting upset, I really didn’t feel like entering their class again today.

Still, I thought I would just keep it simple and finish up the third PBS evaluation for Band 1. A few pairs had already come forward to present their dialogues, and they were quite good. So, 10+ pairs to go. Should be alright now, wouldn’t it?

Managed to finish up the rest of the pairs. Some did very well, with very good intonation. Some had their strengths in their clarity. I always feel that if you speak just a liiiiiittle slower, not rushed, you are always clearer with your words. You don’t swallow your words as much. Which is good 🙂

For those I was not very satisfied with, I made them try again and also gave them some advice on how to do better. Hopefully, they’ll remember these things and apply them in real life. (But somehow, I doubt it. Maybe I am just too skeptical about the effectiveness of this entire PBS thing >.<)

Only Fathi and Nash were a little too playful. They kept giggling and laughing at the front that I was beginning to get annoyed. Why is everything a joke to them? :/Anyway, I made them do it over and over until they got it right. And honestly, they weren’t too bad, really. They just need to set their mind to it and focus, and take it seriously. Sigh. These kids. =.=

Anyway, I didn’t really expect to finish all the pairs with almost 45 minutes to spare! @.@

Thankfully, I had initially planned to teach them a song today. So I had the lyrics all photocopied and ready for them, and I already had the song file in my computer.

So I excused myself to get my laptop and borrow Sun’s speakers, just for a few minutes. I practically ran because I was afraid to leave my class unattended, even if it was a few minutes. But I made sure to give a stern warning that whoever leaves the class in my absence would be sent to Mr. Zaidi, the PK HEM.

Made it back to the classroom with no mishaps occurring while I was away. Phew! 😛

I chose Missing Piece by David Choi because it was a song that had a very simple melody and even simple lyrics, which would make it easy for the students to understand 🙂 Besides, this song was one of the songs in the soundtrack for the video My Generasi that I showed the class some time back. So it would be something they have heard a little bit of 🙂

I did a listen-and-fill-in-the-blanks exercise with them. I gave them lyrics with missing words and asked them to listen to the song carefully so they could fill them in as they hear the words.

Surprisingly, they seemed to enjoy the activity! They asked me to repeat the song so they could have another chance at filling in whatever words they couldn’t catch. In the end, I played the song 3 times for them 🙂

They were quite good, some of them. Managed to catch all but maybe one or two words 😛 And even before then, I had already noticed a few of them singing along to the music. These kids can catch melodies really fast! 😀 Even Nash, surprisingly, was good 😛 I even heard Fadhli, one of the weakest in the class, singing a line or two. I teased him, saying he could really sing, and he got so shy it was so adorable! xD

Then we discussed the lyrics, I explained some vocabulary and the meaning of the song as well 🙂 Then we sang the song together for a few more times! 😀

They really enjoyed the song, and I enjoyed singing with them 😀

I am really grateful for today. After almost a week of scolding them, I feel like I’ve found a good place with them once again. I don’t want to hope too much, but I really do hope that this will continue for my final two weeks with them. I want to leave happy, and satisfied. And I hope that they would be sad to see me go. Cos wouldn’t that mean that I’ve impacted their young lives in some way or other? 🙂

Thank you, God, for a good day today. May the next couple of weeks be filled with good days like this one!



p.s: I woke up with a swollen eye today (I think some stupid insect bit me! >.<) so I wore shades to class because I didn’t want the students to see me with my swollen left eye and no eyeliner =.= haha~ Of course, I got laughed at by 1 Buck, and teased in 1 Best. But they said I looked kinda cool, so that’s cool 😉


Today would be my first Friday where I have four periods with my two classes—back-to-back @.@

Previously, I only had 1 Buck during the last two periods on Fridays. Now, I’ll have 1 Buck after recess, then 1 Best for the last two periods instead.

However, today, the Muslim students had a program for Israk and Mikraj. All of them had to assemble at the hall. We were already informed about it yesterday, and that the program would go on the entire morning. So classes would only resume after recess. Which is perfect for me, seeing as my four periods are all after recess 🙂

So it was pretty quiet in the staff room this morning. The few non-Muslim teachers were just hanging out in the staff room, doing our work and sharing tidbits 😉

Anyway, I took the chance to work on my thesis (well, actually, it’s academic exercise, but thesis is much shorter to say, and to type =.=). I was done with all my corrections; now I’m doing a careful final once-through to edit my work and clean up any loose ends. Hope everything goes well and I can be done by next week! *fingers crossed*

Well, unfortunately, when 9.35 am came along, students were still not back from the hall yet! I was getting a little antsy, because it was 1 Buck’s period, and they were quite far behind 1 Best in terms of the PBS evaluations. Losing 1 Buck’s time would push them further back! I didn’t want that, because I was hoping that, now their lessons are synchronized (both classes on Mondays, Thursdays and Fridays) I would be able to teach them at the same pace. Easier for me lar, haha~

But the students only came back at 10.00 am! Oh, dear. So I could only enter at 10.15 am, meaning that I lost one entire period with 1 Buck 😦 How are they gonna catch up, now? T.T

Anyway, I immediately started them on the Introduce Yourself PBS evaluation. But after the explanation and everything, we didn’t really manage to get everyone to complete the task. There wasn’t enough time. >.<

This is the lesson where, they would introduce their name and where they’re from. Very simple. But it was too simple….and kind boring. So I added the “draw lots” element, where they would draw lots to see what “style” they would be doing their introduction in—just to make things interesting. 😉 For example, if they got “Crazy”, then they’d have to introduce themselves in a CRAZY manner! xD Only 1 of the 12 lots is “Normal” 😛

Actually, due to the lack of time, I was considering removing the “draw lots” element completely. Just make them come in front, say their name and where they’re from, and that’s it. It would certainly take up less time, and I would most probably be able to finish this task with them much much faster. Then we could move on and possibly catch up with 1 Best.

However, I felt it would be a shame for them to miss out on this activity. 1 Best seemed to enjoy it, although they got a little too restless for me to handle. But if I removed that part of the activity, then it would be just too boring, wouldn’t it? I would be bored, and the students would be bored. :/

So, in the end, at the risk of 1 Buck being wayyyyy behind 1 Best when I finish my practicum and pass them over to their respective teachers, I decided to stick with my initial lesson plan. I just hoped that they would find it enjoyable and that I didn’t make the wrong choice.

Well, I did think to myself, “Why the rush?” It seems like I’m trying to rush through Bands 1 and 2 (cause I think that’s all the time that I would have for). But I wonder, why do I need to rush through it? What’s the point, if students don’t learn much, or don’t get to enjoy much?

Maybe I should take my time. Don’t worry so much if I can’t finish doing the evaluations for a task in one lesson. Just allow them to take their time, and allow myself to slow down. Maybe then, both myself and the students can learn something from one another 🙂

Plus, I’m leaving soon. I don’t want to RUSH through my last few weeks. I want to enjoy myself too 😀

1 Buck was cooperative, and they were laughing out loud when some of their friends got “Old Man” and “Sick”. But it is certainly taking up more time, though, since it involves some “acting” skills as well :/ Still, I know we have some rather talented “actors” in the class, so this should be fun 😛

I’ll have to continue this next week, unfortunately. Hopefully, it won’t lose its appeal too quickly :/


p.s: I woke up with a swollen eye today (I think some stupid insect bit me! >.<) so I wore shades to class because I didn’t want the students to see me with my swollen left eye and no eyeliner =.= haha~ Of course, I got laughed at by 1 Buck, and teased in 1 Best. But they said I looked kinda cool, so that’s cool ;)


Day #69 – 21 June 2012

Today, I was going back and forth between keeping to my lesson plan, or making a last minute change for 1 Buck.

It was supposed to be the Literature lesson that I did with 1 Best that was such a disaster because the students were restless and bored with the lesson.

I had planned to do a simple silent reading-discuss-d0 exercises lesson with them, chapter by chapter. I want them to read silently and try to understand, then we’ll discuss by me asking them questions and testing their understanding, then doing the exercises in the textbook. However, these steps are repeated as we go along each chapter, so it could get a little routine and boring. But I felt that there were benefits to this routine, one of which, being that they are each given time to silently read and understand first, which is important.

However, it was quite a disaster in 1 Best. So I was thinking of changing it up a little. Make each group work on a chapter, then get them to present in front of the class to the rest. It’ll definitely give them something to do. However, I think that is a little too high-level, even for 1 Buck. They would be pretty lost as to what to present without a structure. I supposed I could give them one, but it is difficult to form one standard one because each chapter talks about different things. Unless I do a chapter per lesson. But I can’t be spending 2 periods on just one chapter, could I? 12 weeks! They’ll never finish then! @.@

So, in the end, I decided to stick to the lesson plan. I was also curious to see if it really was my methods, or the students that caused the lesson in 1 Best to be a disaster.

It went quite alright, I think.

Sure there were one or two who weren’t paying attention. But then again, they were often caught not paying attention anyway. But comparatively, 1 Buck was more responsive and cooperative. They tried even though they gave wrong answers. But for me, even when you give wrong answers, it still means you’re trying. And I could always tease them and get the class to loosen up.

It’s when you don’t respond to my questions and talk about other things that really gets me annoyed >.<

Lesson went relatively well, I think. Not as bad as with 1 Best, for sure.

I may, however, choose to change things up a bit. Maybe go a little slower; do two chapters per lesson instead of 3.

btw, Don’t think it’s too much for a double period lesson. First thing, it’s a GRAPHIC novel (read: comic) and each chapter is a mere 4 small-book pages with lots of pictures and few words. Which is why I planned 3 chapters in 1 hour and 20 minutes. Including discussion and some exercises.

Not too bad class today. Thankfully. So obviously, I cannot do the same thing for 1 Best then. I must do it differently, but am not sure how. :/ Will try to figure it out by this weekend so I can prepare next week’s lesson plans. ARGH. Quite a lot of things to do. I have to send my thesis to be bound soon, as well! @.@

Finished up the 10 who were not able to complete theirs yesterday. Was slightly better today.

However, I was not very happy with the delay because, since there was sports again in the morning, my 2 period lesson was reduced to a one-hour one. So I have even less time for today’s lesson proper, even more so with the continuation of yesterday’s lesson at the beginning of today’s lesson. So, in the end, I had only about less than half an hour for today’s lesson.

After explaining what they were supposed to do for this PBS evaluation, I actually went through the dialogue with them and demonstrated how to pronounce certain words clearly, and the right intonation to go with them. I made them repeat after me, as well.

But, as usual, there were some paying attention, some not :/

I got angry with them again, because they were restless and giving problems every few minutes. You scold one, another one does something else. You scold that one, and another one does another thing! >.< It’s maddening and exhausting! T.T

They can just walk from one end of the class to the other while you’re right in front straining your voice to explain things to them. When you question them, they just answer, simply, “Dia panggil saya.”


Your friend calls you and you’re supposed to do what he says? What about what say? No walking around during the lesson! Why don’t YOU listen to THAT?

And just after I got that boy to sit down, another just gets up and does the exact same thing.

OMG, what is happening?! I am so tired of scolding. Or am I just supposed to close one eye and allow all these things to go on in my classroom? What? Seriously, what am I supposed to do? >.<

It is so difficult to control this class. In the midst of my explanation on the PBS evaluation, I can hear so much of talking and whispering and giggles that it’s realllyyyyy hard to concentrate. So I started scolding, and would you believe it? I could still hear talking in the background. So I really SHOUTED this time, just so I can hear the silence—to know that it’s actually possible to be this quiet, but that the students are just plain disobedient.


And Aswad. Gosh, Aswad. I don’t know what to do with him anymore. He’s a smart mouth, a chatterbox, a clown, and he ENJOYS the attention he gets. The class LOVES him. They think he’s freakin’ hilarious.

Well, let me break it to you, Aswad. You’re one of the rudest, most disrespectful, annoying, smart aleck rascals I have ever met. Yes, I admit that you are funny sometimes, but that does not mean you can get away with doing anything just to earn the laughs and approval of your classmates. You make me soooooo mad I wish I could just give you one big WHACK! on the head and make you see what a fool you’re being in my classroom.

I realize that he’s cooperative only when he wants to be. Then, the rest of the time he just says and does whatever he wants. He’s always ready with a comment after anything and everything that you say, just to make the class laugh. It’s not that I don’t allow laughter in my classroom (hello, sometimes make jokes for them to laugh at) but when I’m serious, please be serious. Especially since I’ve already given prior warning and instructions. FOLLOW THEM. Don’t just do whatever you want because you think it’s funny.

For example, for today’s PBS, I have to evaluate them on their ability to “read texts aloud with the proper pronunciation and intonation”. They were given a dialogue and asked to work in pairs. Now, I had already instructed the class that they are allowed to change the names of the students in the dialogue—Osman and Wong—to their own, but for everything else, they need to retain them because, as it says on the worksheet, I have to evaluate their ability to read the text aloud. I don’t really want spontaneous dialogues or their own original lines, because then, I will not be able to evaluate their ability to read texts aloud. When they create their own, they’ll be making grammar errors etc. which I do not want. So I told the class: change the names, but not anything else.

Of course, our dear Aswad thought it would be funny to just add things in. He read out, “I’m from Bandar Baru Bangi, Selangor” when there was clearly no “Selangor” in the text.

I understand it was a small addition. But I really disliked the fact that he was not taking the entire presentation seriously and that he just had to defy me and not follow instructions when I specifically said not to change any part of the text besides the names.

I made him re-do his part and said that I was not going to pass him until he took this seriously.

ARGH. I am really so angry with this boy! >.<

I am upset with the entire class, actually.  Every single lesson, even though I come in, take a deep breathe, and start anew, they manage to make me angry EVERY single lesson. Four days this week already, including today. >.<

I don’t feel like entering this class anymore.

I wish I could do that. 😦

Day #68 – 20 June 2012

The school started an alternative timetable today for Wednesdays. Apparently, students have been skipping co-curriculum on Wednesdays, and last week’s attendance was so bad that the administration decided that something had to be done.

Their solution?

To shift co-curriculum and sports up to the morning and have the regular T&L session from 10.30 am right up till 3.50 pm! Which means that everybody SHOULD be in school in the mornings for sports and co-curriculum.

Ingenious, I would say. Except that it makes things veryyyyyy inconvenient for the teachers, and tiring for the students as well. And who’s to say students won’t start skipping the T&L sessions in the afternoon too?? @.@

Today, we had the Sukan Tara. I’ve never really been a fan of sports, or anything that involves sweating, really. Adding to that is the fact that I’m realllyyyyy bad at sports, even when I was in school. I could never really do anything. I couldn’t throw, I couldn’t run. Well, actually, I could, but I was never really the best, and that made me feel like a Nothing—which I hate. T.T Plus, it’s done in front of other students, which makes you open to ridicule and mockery.

Sighhhhh. Can’t you see why I hate it?

Thankfully, this time, I’ll be joining as a teacher. 😛

So didn’t have to run or throw or jump or do anything. All I had to do was supervise the students and make sure they don’t run off somewhere, and that they participate in all the events and contribute to the House points 🙂

I am in Rajawali, or the Green House. And it was actually quite fun watching as a teacher from the sidelines, cheering the students on! 😀 The shot putt and long jump events were fine. I was just very worried for their safety. Students don’t seem to realize the danger they put themselves in if they walk in the path of someone who’s throwing a shot putt, or running down the track at an extremely fast speed! @.@

By the time Rajawali reached the 100 m sprint tracks, the sun was already burning hot! >.< Yikes.

So tiring, really. Sighhhhhhhhhhhhh~ (And this is only Sukan Tara not the actual Sports Day! T.T)

Anyway, imagine the state of the class when you enter after all that vigorous running and throwing and jumping! They are either too active and restless, or too exhausted.

Mine was the former for the first half of the lesson, then the latter for the second =.=

I was doing another PBS evaluation with them today, where they just had to introduce themselves. Give their names and where they’re from. Very simple, because this is only Band 1 (isn’t it silly to be learning how to introduce yourself in the MIDDLE of the school year??! =.=)

Anyway, remembering yesterday’s lesson, I thought I would try to make the lesson more fun and interesting for them. Shake things up a bit, don’t be so serious all the time. So, I created some lots for them to draw from that would dictate the style in which they would introduce themselves! 😀

Let me explain. They have to say two very simple sentences in order to pass this task: Hello, I’m Miss Lisa. I’m from Seremban, Negeri Sembilan. Now, they would also draw a lot to decide what style they would say that in. For example, if I drew “Robot” I would have to say the two sentences—ROBOT-style! xD

I had prepared 12 different styles including “Normal”. We also had “Robot”, “Loud”, “Sad, “Sleepy”, “Baby”, “Cute”, “Old Man/Woman”, “Sick”, “Angry”, “Crazy” and “Slow”. I thought the kids might really enjoy goofing around a little 🙂

So, I called them out, one by one, and initially, they were rather enjoying themselves. They were laughing at each other’s antics and acting. But mostly, I just made sure they were able to introduce their names and where they lived. The rest was just for fun.

However, after about half of the students had gone, they started getting bored again. They weren’t really paying attention, especially when the shy ones were up and they dilly dallied before presenting.

I realized that by adding to this, it makes the process even slower. It certainly takes up more time. Which doesn’t really matter if I had accounted for it. Well, actually, I did, but I didn’t expect it to take up even more time than what I had allocated for it! >.< Plus, it makes the lesson more long-drawn. And once the initial novelty had worn off, it becomes boring once again. T.T

Now, you tell me, what should I do? I’m not sure how to remedy this now. I mean, when I don’t do anything different, the lesson is still too boring and they get restless. But even when I do do something more fun and interesting, it eventually still becomes boring as well!

ARGHHHHHHHHH. Tell me, what should I do? 😦

We didn’t manage to finish all. There are about 10 students left. Now we’ll have to postpone that to another lesson, which, again, will take up time from another lesson that I have already planned nicely. And it might get boring again. What should I do???? @.@

Am not looking forward to tomorrow’s lesson. There’s gonna be sports in the morning again. Will it be the same thing all over? T.T

Was gonna carry out the same lesson with 1 Buck today. I was hoping that I would be able to do the search-for-meaning activity with them that I could not do with 1 Best.

However, they were also late today 😦

On Tuesdays, I know that they have BM period before mine which they have at the library. So I understand that it takes time for them to get from the library back to their classroom. But I had informed them to please come out earlier next time so they can enter class on time for English. Prior to this, they were able to do that for me, which I am grateful for. But this didn’t seem to be one of those times :/

Anyway, started late, so only had 30 minutes left. I took some time explaining the PBS evaluations, even to them. In the end, we also only managed to complete the listening test without the search-for-meaning activity. I decided to just remove that, because that learning objective was only secondary. The main objective was to complete the listening test. For 1 Buck, only 2 of them scored 8/10 for the listening test and needed to do it again: Aiman and Hamzah. But they very quickly were able to stay for a few minutes after class to do it with me, and they did extremely well the second time round too 😀

However, Iskandar is getting a little over my head. He’s rude sometimes, and quite often, I am affected by what he says, or as they say, I terasa. I’ll be explaining things on the board, and I can hear him saying, “Okayokayokay…” As if implying that that was enough, and that I should just stop talking. >.<

Sometimes, I don’t know if that’s exactly what they mean, that they’re being intentionally hurtful+rude, or they don’t really know that that’s what is implied when you say it in that manner. :/

Anyway, this class is no piece of cake either. And after today, I am wondering why things seem to be getting harder instead of easier in my last few weeks. I’ve been with these classes for, about 10 weeks at least. But why am I still experiencing such problems with them?

I am exhausted, and frustrated.

I really can’t wait for everything to be OVER! >.<

Today was supposed to be the first time I’m carrying out the PBS evaluations. I had a listening test planned for them. I was nervous that things might not go as planned, but I was hopeful. Besides, I had already informed them that I would be doing the test with them today, so they should behave, right?

When I entered the class at 9.50 am, after their recess, there was practically nobody in the class. I waited as students just trickled in, one by one, right up until 10.00 am. I was getting annoyed. I had a lot to complete with them today, and 10 minutes—gone, just like that! >.<

I was getting antsy, because what I had planned was, that I would deliver the listening test for them where I would read 10 words aloud, and they would circle the words that they hear from a choice of 2 words that are minimal pairs distinguishing between /p/ and /b/. Not only that, in my plan, I thought since it was a listening test of only 10 words which shouldn’t take too long, I thought I would also include a vocabulary lesson. Ss would have to search for the meanings of words from dictionaries I would provide, and write them down on the back of their worksheet.

But how can I start when there are Ss who have not entered the class? @.@

So I decided to begin the lesson by explaining the PBS evaluations again, and what we were going to be doing for the next few weeks. I hoped that those missing would come in by then. :/

Finally, at 10.10 am, Nabihah came in. I was really quite ticked off. Nabihah is one of my favourites, but I cannot be showing favouritism now, can I? Besides, I really was quite ticked off, Nabihah or not. When I asked her why she was late, she said she had come from the library. Now, I knew that she and a few others liked to go to the library during recess. But is that any excuse for why you are entering your English lesson at 10.10 am when it started at 9.50 am??! >.<

And when Hannah and Fatini came in after her, I scolded them too. HALF THE LESSON IS GONE! It breaks my heart to scold them, actually, because they are some of the nice ones. But what choice did I have? They were late, VERY late, and I had to reprimand them.

Another 3 came in even later than them, probably at 10.15 am! Athifah, Namira and Aliah. They said they were prefects and they had duties. But other prefects had come in before them on time, so why them? Then they told me that they were given “special duties” by Mr. Thina (whom I knew was not around today) and were given an extra 10 minutes for recess. To which I answered, “Ten minutes would mean your ‘extra recess’ should have ended at 10.00 am. It is now 10.15 am.”

ARGHHHHHHHHHH. Do things like these happen only to me? Am I the only teacher who has to suffer these kinda nonsense and excuses? Is it because they are not scared of me at all? Am I really such a failure of a teacher????!! T.T

Anyway, because of the delay, I could only start the listening test late, and in the end, I only managed to complete the listening test with them, and not the search-for-meaning activity. However, we did manage to discuss the meanings of the words during the discussion, though I doubt they wrote the meanings at the back of their worksheets.

All of them scored 8/10 and above. But the 3 who scored 8/10 needed to re-do the test: Husna, Hilman and Fadhli. All of them met with me after school and passed the re-test with flying colours! 😀 PHEW.

But I was really quite upset during class today. I don’t know why I’ve been really touchy and sensitive lately. I keep getting angry at them, which is completely what I did not want to do in my last few weeks. I hate to leave with such a bad impression and memories 😦

I’m dreading entering 1 Best’s class nowadays. >.< And you know what’s the “great” news? We’ve just received our latest timetables (due to the new teachers coming in) and now, I’ll be entering 1 Best for Thursday and Friday as well. For the “old” timetable, I entered their class on Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays. But for the new one, I’m supposed to enter Mondays, Thursdays and Fridays. And since the new timetable is put into effect only on Thursday, that means that I’ll be seeing them EVERY DAY this week! And with FOUR EXTRA PERIODS with them this week!!


Why? Why when my rapport with them is just so terrible? T.T

Day #66 – 18 June 2012

Today was a terrible class with 1 Best! >.<

I entered and they were restless and noisy. Although quite a number of them did not bring their graphic novels, they didn’t seem very bothered about it. They didn’t care that I was going around scolding those who didn’t bring the books.

And Nash, today. OH MY GOODNESS. I asked him to borrow a friend’s book because he and his pair did not bring theirs. I asked him to ask nicely from Amir, who sits on his left. He turned his face away and did not answer me. I seriously got annoyed. It wasn’t the first time he had done this—completely refused to answer me even though I was talking to him. So I called him and demanded that he answer me.

Again, no answer. He didn’t even look at me.

When I asked him to look at me and reply, he did but still, not a single word from his mouth.

I asked him what was the problem. If it was because he didn’t understand me. I even spoke to him in BM at this point. I told him how absolutely rude he was being, and that if truly he could not understand what I was saying, he still had to acknowledge and respond to me by saying, Cikgu, tak faham or SOMETHING you know, so I know he’s heard and understood me. Not look stonily the other way! >.<

Still refused to answer.

When I scolded him some more, then asked him again if he understood, Faham ke tak faham, Nash? He answered Yes, very begrudgingly.

Seriously, what is his problem with me? >.<

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I honestly felt so angry I could slap him right then!

But of course I didn’t.

I told him that the next time he did that, I was sending him out of the class.

Anyway, the lesson was just plain boring. I mean, my plan was for students to read the few pages of the chapter silently, we discuss difficult vocab as I retell the story, then make them do the simple exercises in the text book. Then repeat for each chapter.

It was simple, but turned out to be so very difficult to execute! >.<

They were restless and kept talking. I had to keep shouting over their voices to be heard. Some were trying to listen. Some were sleeping off. Some just weren’t bothered.

I don’t know what’s the matter with me as well. I was angry about it, but didn’t do anything about it. I mean, what’s the point? I feel like I’ll get angry and scold/nag them, then I’ll get upset, then I won’t feel like teaching anymore. I felt like just sitting down at the teacher’s table and resting my throbbing head. And resting my voice. My throat was getting a little sore already. Which is worrying indeed, since everybody in school seems to be sick. Sun herself is just recovering from fever and losing her voice just last week.

I hated it. I honestly felt like just walking out of the class and not looking back at all. I did not want to be in class. >.<

There were some who were responsive when I quizzed them on the events in the chapter, which I am grateful for, really. But it also made the class really noisy and a little out-of-control. I realized this happens when I address the question to the whole class. They all answer at the same time, making everything really messy and noisy.

So I tried addressing one person at a time, choosing those who seemed to be not paying attention. But that just made the rest noisier because I was focusing on only one student.

Maybe I should try asking one students to answer, then another to repeat what his friend had just said? But that would take up even more time than my nagging already did, and I don’t think I can go any slower now. Because it’s a graphic novel, there are very few pages with words really. So it should be easier and I should finish faster, shouldn’t I? @.@

My plans were to go through about 3 chapters a week and finish the novel in a month. Isn’t that already kind of a long time? >.<

I don’t know! I’m not too sure how to teach the novel. It’s pretty overwhelming :/

I really need to switch up my methods for teaching this by this week. I definitely have to do this a little differently next week. I don’t think I can experience a lesson like this one again! >.<

I was so exhausted, and by the end of it, I just really felt like bursting into tears. My head hurts, my eyes are tired, my feet are aching. I just want to go back to my room, throw all my bags in a corner, and just take a nice long nap. (Maybe I’m sounding a little cranky because I’ve just had a really busy weekend what with church stuff and Father’s Day and all. It has seriously affected me more than I expected it to.)

And it doesn’t help that I have to stay back again today because of Choir training for the competition this Saturday (which I only found out today!) ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH. What is happening????!!! T________T

Anyway, this was one of my worst lessons ever. I don’t know what to do! I’m so tired I can’t really think straight! T.T


Maybe it’s the right decision not going for the A (a second time) because, at this point, I am in serious doubt as to whether I am A-grade material. 😦