I love my Fridays, I really do. 😀
Had my fair share of relief classes, which I don’t really mind. But during the exam season, it’s a little nerve-wrecking because I have to check and double-check, just in case I’m starting a paper. I don’t want to mess up and have the students start their paper late because of me! >.<
Only two days and I already have some stories to tell. I’ve invigilated a class where the teacher before me says to me, “Kelas ni memang susah nak control. Good luck.” I don’t know about you, but that really terrified me! @.@ I had done relief for that class before, and I knew that some of the boys in that class couldn’t care less if there was a teacher in the classroom—they’d act like there wasn’t.
There’d be talking, and whispering, even laughing during the exams. Some would just get up and walk, even as you stare, over to the dustbin and throw a piece of paper, staring right back at you, as if challenging you to say something. They’d be passing stuff between them, and when you demand what they are doing, they can calmly tell you, “Pinjam pemadam, Cikgu.” I am seriously appalled. Is this the exam culture for this school?
I really couldn’t stomach it. I scolded them, I did. I didn’t care that they were still in the midst of the exam. I reprimanded them for being in Form 4 but not taking exams seriously. I scolded them for not even having their own eraser during an exam. I mean, is that how you sit for the exams? So unprepared? Obviously, it was just an excuse. So the next time there was talking, I took down their names. Honestly, I was fed-up. And I meant what I said about taking exams seriously. I really despise cheating and dishonesty.
But most of all, I was angry because I knew that a lot of them think that just because I’m a trainee teacher, I must be some push-over. That they don’t have to be afraid of me because, come on, I’m just a trainee teacher, I wouldn’t do anything?
I wanted to prove them wrong. Yes, I can joke around during relief classes, but I don’t joke around when it’s exams. I am firm, strict and fierce when I need to be. And surprisingly, I pulled it off. Possibly because I was angered enough by their misbehaviour to give no mercy.
But, to be fair, the better classes, as expected, like the Bucks and the Bests, are pretty disciplined. I can conveniently sit down and do my own work (like marking test papers) without having to worry too much. Of course, I still use my “roving eye” to keep watch (I don’t trust the students completely, of course) and I do walk around every 10 minutes, but it is mentally less straining than those “difficult” classes, if that makes any sense. Actually, the only “difficult” class was the one I mentioned before. The others are pretty well-behaved.
Anyway, I was excited today because there was the teachers’ potluck after school. We, the practical teachers were supposed to bring fruits, but the bananas we’d bought hadn’t ripened yet, unfortunately. It was embarrassing to have to admit to En. Yahaya that we couldn’t even contribute fruits =.=
Had a great lunch with the rest of the staff. The food was good, with a lot of variety: soto, kuih, chicken curry, sandwiches etc. Got to chat a bit more with Pn. Khairunnisa and En. Zarif, two other sub teachers who were taking over from teachers on maternity leave, and En. Ng, a very nice and gentle man.
And the best part about today? It was the last day of school before the mid-term break—ONE WEEK! 😀
I know it’s only been two weeks in school, but honestly, I am emotionally, mentally and physically drained already! I don’t know how teachers do it! @.@ But these two weeks have left me with newfound awe and respect for all my former teachers, and even my father, who have been doing this day in day out, for so many years, still passionate about what they do. I salute them!
Anyway, happy holidays! Will be back with reflections for Week 3! 😉